User:	rainkatt
	Date:	2009-12-15 15:17
	Subject:	So
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	moody

I finally stopped flipping out long enough to remember what I read about giving permission. I gave myself permission to be crazy, and I gave the swirling worry permission to exist. Magic. Went from pacing to sitting down and finishing a sock to relatively functional calm. Not that this is a permanent change. But it's a lovely step in the process.

Of course, not until I'd bombarded alh with too many emails, but she's gracious, so it was OK.

I've been folding clothes and talking to myself, which may seem odd, but that's OK. It's helping. Later, I go get trained in PetCo's method of kitty care-taking for their contingent of CAT cats.

	User:	rainkatt
	Date:	2009-12-14 10:52
	Subject:	I am having difficulty
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	hopeful

( ramblings, not coherent, ignore )

In saner news, my back isn't bad today. Standing around on cold asphalt over the weekend wasn't really good for it, so this is a win. I think Terminator Stout is much better for it than oxycodone--I can still walk around, and I'm not nauseated, and my back just relaxes. Oxycodone involves passing out and waking up shaped like a pretzel, with even more back pain. That just isn't right.

We survived a total of eight hours of standing in the cold (two shifts, four hours each), working at the Holiday Express fundraiser for the Portland steam engines and their new home. The fun part was watching the 4449 in action. And I wore antlers. Frightened two dogs and three children.

The wildlife refuge area on the other side of the train tracks is pond-like, and froze in the cold; yesterday, it attracted walkers, skaters, and few sleds. I was a little worried about that, as the temps were rising, but we didn't see anyone fall though the ice. (We were on the trail next to the train, warning bicyclists and runners of the traffic jam ahead during loading and unloading.)

I could not have done a longer shift; as it was, when we got home Saturday, I staggered around and did a little laundry, and then fell asleep. Yesterday, I was wound up, so I didn't sleep in the afternoon, but I did crash early in the evening, after a lovely hot bath.

OH!! There's a roller rink at the park where we were. I didn't know that, or I'd forgotten. I think I want to go skate! I wonder whether that skill comes back...

I've been practicing doing the half-right thing, which actually led to some of the mess in the bedroom dwindling. It's not gone, but I think if I hadn't reminded myself, it would still all be a huge pile. Instead of a half-pile. ;-) It seems to be rewiring the thing in my head that's confused about time, just a bit.

And now, after a brief bout of freaking out, I'm going to go eat, and then empty the dishwasher. No, I didn't really need to tell anyone that, but I want the record. If you weren't used to the boring you wouldn't be here.

edited several times because I don't make sense

	User:	rainkatt
	Date:	2009-12-09 11:59
	Subject:	So maybe I can be half-right.,
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	cold

Back from dentist with freshly-filled tooth; it was the last old amalgam, which had been getting looser over time. Still numb. Tried drinking a little coffee, but it's not safe yet (got more on my chin than in my mouth), and I'm currently at the stage where I have to be careful to not bite myself.

( Dentist wasn't so bad. My brain is a strange place. )

	User:	rainkatt
	Date:	2009-12-07 18:45
	Subject:	Thank you! And I'm HOME!! ::clings::
	Security:	Public
	Mood:	exanimate

Thank you so much, entrenous88 and anonymous person, for the snowflake cookies! They're so pretty, and they made me smile!

Home from the wedding.

Tired.

That is all.